The Shape of Things

I came in tonight expecting to blow the dust off and chat with my last remaining subscriber, so I'm rather touched and gratified that there is still a little huddle of you patiently waiting for me to breeze in at my leisure.

Leisure is, in fact, in short supply 'round my casa at present as the changes I have been alluding to for a while have become my reality.

Uni has started, and I am coming to grips with the site and the learning materials; it's certainly a challenge doing it externally, as I don't have the comfort of routine and structure already created for me, but must make my own. I began by devoting 2 days of my working week (Thursday and Friday) to my readings, coursework and online lectures.

The other 3 days were meant to be devoted to my fledgling freelance business (but more about that in a moment), and (trying) to write and market my own ventures, including a shiny new blog.

Now, before I go any further, I've been thinking long and hard about a few things to do with identity and online privacy and all that razzmatazz. This blog has been filled with so much of my lint-filled navel gazing, and is rather personal in nature; especially in its infancy, when I was still married, I trod a very delicate line between revealing my true feelings and maintaining a degree of discretion I felt I owed my then-husband and little boy. And so, because I was showing pictures of us, and talking about personal things, I maintained a certain level of anonymity.

In my new work, I am going the opposite way, and am consciously setting out to be known for who I am, and what I think and do. In my new blog, I am also blogging about being a single mother, but this time I am talking from the perspective of a specialist, if you like - I shy from the word "expert" because I am far from expert, but I want to initiate a conversation for and with and particularly relevant to single mothers, so it's less about me as a person as such, and more about me as an entity, a brand, for want of a better word.

With all of that in mind, my initial impulse was to avoid drawing the line between this blog and my new one, to maintain my relative anonymity here. However, so much of my learning in the last few months has dwelt on the power of communities; what counts, in the social media/marketing/business world is what we women have long known - that relationships count, and making genuine connections with people is the only meaningful way to build a business in the long term. I have nothing to hide here - what I have shared I have done with sensitivity and respect for the other people involved, and it will ever be so. If my ex comes off looking like a shit sometimes, well, that's because he is. ;)

Mainly, I kept thinking about all of you, wonderful people that you are, who have cheered, uplifted and supported me through the highs and lows of the last few years, and how it made perfect sense to share with you the next part of my journey. This is not about business - nothing in my new blog is monetized yet, and when it is, I have absolutely no expectations that you are going to race over there and buy anything (though should you choose to, that'll be lovely, of course ;) ). It's about sharing the next exciting stage of my life with my friends. You have my back-story; now, you might like to get to know me on a different level. Or not. Your choice.

But, if you do want to come check out what I'm up to these days, drop over to The Successful Single Mama and say "Hi!". I'm still struggling to learn more about Wordpress and make the blog look and work the way I envision, so treat it as a work-in-progress - there will be changes to come, and I've got lots of content and ideas to implement yet. I'd love to see you there, and hear your thoughts. :)

Oh, and regarding the freelancing? It was working too well - trying to meet client's deadlines meant I was putting my uni work behind, and my own work even further back(like these blogs). It was lovely to know that I could do it; that people liked my work and were willing to pay for it, but it was coming at too high a price. Most importantly, it was really unfair on the little man, who had a grumpy, frenetic stress-bag for a mother.

In the last couple of weeks, I have decided to put freelancing on the back-burner, and focus on my studies and my own writing for now, until I can reach a comfortable place where I think I can do more. I've beat myself up a bit over this, as I know lots of people who seem to manage to juggle far more. However, I've begun to think we've sold ourselves a real lemon with this whole 'multi-tasking' thing. I suspect it makes us less productive, at least in terms of the quality of our output. And so, I'm being kinder to myself, and chunking things down - when the time is right, I know that I will be able to integrate freelancing into my workload, but that time is not now.

And so, here I am, revealed to you at last. You can still keep up with me here - I'd like to continue to share the more everyday, personal side of my life here, and chuck out the odd recipe and P&C exploit - yes, we've moved on from the preschool committee. Oh, and a word about the little man; I think he has outgrown 'the wee man', don't you? You'll hear about him, here and elsewhere, as 'the boyo' these days. :)

My name is Tracy Rudd, and I am a writer and blogger. Forget the 12 step program - I like how I am. Read about me here, or at http://www.thesuccessfulsinglemama.com, or find me @ruddygood on Twitter and chivvy me back to my studies or writing. :) xxx

So where was I when I wasn't here...?

Truth to tell, it was real life that mostly got in the way. With the lead-up to the election (no, not THAT one...my local government election), plus the other things I like to involve myself in, plus everyday life with the wee man, I would flop gratefully on the couch at the end of the day, happy for some mindless TV or a little Sudoku...anything that allowed 90% of my brain to drift.

(And, it must be said, I found dial-up so intensely annoying and resented the huge amount of time spent waiting for pages to load that I often found it a real dis-incentive to turning on the computer to read or write blogs.)

However, there was another distraction, another seductive little time-waster, which won a lot of my on-line attention for a while...and it's all my family's fault!

That's right - if I hadn't gone to my aunt's wonderful wedding back in July, and had such a fantastic time catching up with my cousins etc (plus the new members of the family we inherited through the wedding), I wouldn't have made all those rash promises about catching up through Facebook!

Yes - I'm a bit of a late-comer, I know. I had a very minimalist presence on Facebook previously - just a bare-bones profile, as it was a place I used to stay in touch with one girlfriend who lived in England. Then my brothers found me there, and kept sending me all these silly applications (which piled up, 'cos I had no idea I could just hit 'Ignore'). I'd contemplated wiping my profile, sure I had far better things to do with my time...and then I went to the wedding, and suddenly discovered the real strength of Facebook, when it comes to keeping in touch with people you love.

All of a sudden, my family and I (and then my network in general, as I expanded to include many of my playgroup and preschool circle) were able to exchange photos with all with one click of a button, share happenings, children's triumphs, illnesses and worries almost immediately. Indeed, we often tune into the nuances in one another's status report, sharing a sense of supportedness and involvement that the sporadic phone calls and emails we previously exchanged couldn't come near to.

As any regular readers of my blog will know, I am a big advocate for community, and through Facebook, I found another level of community which transcended time and distance and, since it involved family, became very special. Things have quietened down from the first heady flush of connectivity, but Facebook is now a valuable tool in my daily routine, and I use it regularly to weave tighter the threads of family and friendship.

PS. Guess what was one of the first things I did when I moved into this house? Yep! Got me some of that broadband PDQ!!!

PPS. Guess who was the cutest of a very cute bunch of under-age wedding attendants at my aunt's wedding?

Hallowe'en In Australia

An interesting post by Planning Queen over at Aussie Bloggers (Halloween In Australia) followed on from some conversations I've had this weekend with other parents post-Hallowe'en. Some of us felt a bit bewildered about the sudden development of this "tradition" in our village, and wondered if it was just a little too much Americanisation, or if there was some value in it for our kids. Here's my comment in response:


"It’s been a hot topic in my rural village this weekend, ‘cos somehow quite a few of us found ourselves roaming the streets behind our “candy”-seeking offspring… There is no doubt that they are strongly influenced in this by American culture…even my wee man, who watches very little commercial TV (and who had no idea, when we set out, that “candy” is the same as “lollies”.).

The conclusion that I reached, and most I spoke to agreed, is that I like the aspects of imagination and community contained in the celebration. The kids enjoyed planning their costumes, and getting dressed up to go outside on public display, and then we all trouped around knocking on doors and chatting and laughing and connecting with our neighbours. Some of the locals really get into the spirit of the occasion, and we got a tour of a fairy garden by the Wicked Witch of the West at one home…!? She was scary and hilarious at the same time, and my little man loved it.

So we started talking about ways to make it better for the kids next year, get those that want to more involved, and those that don’t can clearly opt out. Maybe a kid’s party or concert at the end of the trick or treating, too…an opportunity to dance off some of that sugar, and once again connect as a community.

But I also draw the line at Thanksgiving…"


For those of us with children, ignoring Hallowe'en and hoping it will go away because it is "too American" and not "part of our cultural traditions" is perhaps too short-sighted a response.

Like it or not, by exposure to the global village through TV and Internet, our kids pick up all kinds of strange ideas which appeal to them (fighting ninjas, snow at Christmas, time-travelling dinosaurs). How real and relevant they are to the children is really down to us and how we handle them, but the appeal of these ideas is not going to evaporate just because we say so.

By embracing all that is best about a celebration like Hallowe'en - the opportunity to celebrate imagination and community - we have the opportunity to make them relevant to us, to Australianise them (if you must) by building on the values of fun and friendship and playfulness (the Aussie larrikin), and to underline the multiculturism of our modern Australian society.

As parents, we can be involved in making the event a fun and safe activity for kids, without the descent into hooliganism and ugly satire that seems to play a part in the American tradition these days.

For next year in my village, we talked about using the village store as a distribution centre for some simple signage for those who wish to say Yes (or No) to Hallowe'en. It will ensure that parents and children feel comfortable about approaching houses, and will enable parents with younger children to plan a smaller trek to known "trick or treating houses". We also like the idea of finishing with a party or dance at a central location (perhaps the school or preschool) - with a little cooperative effort from all an event can be easily organised, and provides another opportunity for us to join as a community (and gives the grown-ups an excuse to get dressed up, too...).

What do you think?

Contrary to popular opinion...

...I have not been abducted by aliens.

For some reason, which I have been unable to specifically formulate but instead have been idly examining in the privacy of my own head, I have drifted away from the habit of blogging and immersion in the blogging world.

There's some superficial explanations, like how immensely frustrating I found it being back on dialup this year, and how much that limited my enjoyment of the Net in general, and blogging (both writing and reading) particularly. And how caught I became in real-time activities like the campaign and preschool etc.

Ultimately, I think that blogging and the blogging world gave me a much-needed sanctuary, an escape, when so much of my life was going shit-side-up. Now, as things in my life are taking shape in ways which are generally pleasing and satisfying and sometimes just plain time-consuming, I have lost the habit of blogging as the need that it filled (to be heard, to be understood) has fallen away. I'm happy (mostly). It's on a level almost below sensing, like a sub-sonic hum - it has replaced the hum of misery which was there before. People tell me I look happy, whatever that means.

I might have forgotten blogging for a while, but I haven't forgotten the amazing people I have met while blogging, and I have been thinking of you and occasionally dropping in quietly on a few of you when I can. (Trish, Tiff, you two are particularly in my thoughts...you have had a VERY tough year, and I am still here cheering you on, awed by your courage and humour as ever. Cec and JCK - catching up real soon!)

For those of you who have been crazy kind enough to hang in there waiting for me to bob up again, here's a quick summary of the last couple of months:

The Election

- I ran for Council after all, but only on the bottom of the ticket to support the group and our leader who, I am thrilled to say, got on to Council. And what a Council!

We have a lady Mayor, Jenny Dowell, who I had the immense pleasure of getting to know a little through the campaign - she is a person of courage and grace and integrity, which has been incredibly tested as she was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 days after winning the election! She is having a mastectomy on Tuesday, and fully intends to be at the first official meeting of council the week after. The community at large is sending her a massive amount of goodwill, love and support, shocked that she faces this crisis so soon after her triumphant win, but I'm sure that she is winning even more supporters by her honesty and dignity in sharing this terrible time with us, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month has got itself its new best advocate.

We have a Green female Deputy Mayor, Vanessa Ekins, and we have a great mix of progressive and fairly young councillors making up the majority of the council, with only 3 of the original dominating conservative "Six-pack" voting bloc remaining. Clearly, the community has spoken out for change, and I am really happy to have been part of the process. I wanted to make a change in our council, and see a better representation of women, and I helped achieve that without having to be a part of it myself...

...This time. I have had some feedback from some of the wonderful people I worked with in this campaign, to the effect that I have "...a shining future in local government" if I want it. The group who worked behind the scenes to support our party (including some of those who supported the claim of the other local candidate) are keen to work with me, and him, and others, to continue to support our man on council, and make long-term plans for the next elections, four years hence. Looks like my career in politics isn't over yet.



We Moved

- The wee man and I have moved on from one-room living, and now have more than enough room to swing a cat (and she loves it!) In fact, we have a lovely little 3 bedroom house with a jungle of a garden, and our darling dog Rusty was returned by the wee man's dad when we moved, so we are a very happy little family.

We have our own rooms ( I can't tell you how grateful I am not to take 2 steps and then trip on Thomas the Tank Engine or Alfie or Harvey or whoever the hell little metal engine was sticking into my instep...?!), the wee man is sleeping through the night (most nights) in his OWN room in his OWN bed, and I am experiencing that amazing phenomenon where you shut your eyes and then you open them again and it's morning...wtf? It's only been nearly 5 years. (Humble apologies to anyone not currently experiencing this phenomenon - I'm not boasting...oh, okay...maybe a little bit.)

It's been wonderful to get all my things out of storage after nearly nine months, and while a few boxes have been shoved into cupboards unopened, generally the place is looking and feeling like Home. (I can't wait till next weekend when various members of my family will be arriving to help celebrate my birthday, and will get to see it.)
















I Had a Haircut

- More importantly, a haircut I LOVE! In fact, it's six weeks this week since it was cut and I am itching to go back for a trim, but my newly-discovered treasure of a hairdresser has had the gall to be off sick this week...lol!




And So Has The Wee Man

- Photos to follow...I haven't even seen it yet!?! He's away this long weekend with his Dad, and they rang me on the Friday to tell me he had been to the barber and he now had "little hair"! (Don't worry - this was a previously discussed decision. In fact, I had promised the wee man he could cut it as soon as the weather warmed up, but I drew the line at the Number One with the clippers that his father was itching to do!)


So...as I said, Life is generally good. Not perfect, nor necessarily easy, but good. Satisfying. Promising. And sometimes, laugh-out-loud great...

Taking a breath before plunging back in...

It's been a very busy fortnight.

My Mum's 60th birthday last weekend - the wee man and I went up with my grandparents and brothers for a couple of days. We enjoyed some time together, helped Mum prepare for her party at home on the Saturday night, and generously had an absolute ball on the night...lol! Talking, laughing, singing and poetry and dance; Mum had a dream of an old-fashioned soiree, with the entertainments provided by the guests, and many of us obliged. (The wee man and I performed that preschool classic "Hello, Neighbour", with the aid of his first amour *cheeky grin*) Mum prepared a photo slideshow of her life and loves (her own "This Is MY Life"), which brought much laughter and some tears (mine, when my father appeared on the screen - unexpected and brief, but surprisingly raw). The wee man refused to go to bed until his little friend was gone, by which time we were all heading for bed, and he went to sleep with her name the last word on his lips.

Last Wednesday, Playgroups around the country celebrated World's Biggest Playgroup Day, the centrepiece of National Playgroup Week. Our local committee had decided in a moment of insanity to hold a public Family Fun Day, bringing together families with children under 5 and the local services and community groups who support them, and the last 6 months has been spent pulling these ideas and plans into reality. What a wonderful day it was, too! I ran around the park like a blue-arsed fly (to use a colourful Aussie colloquialism!), helping to co-ordinate the set-up and then MC'ing the day with the help of a wireless microphone. The weather was magnificent, and perhaps 500 people came (yet we hadn't done half the advertising we had planned to) and gave us excellent feedback, so we've deemed the day a great success. Probably the only child who didn't have a ball was the wee man, who was upset that I couldn't stay with him when he came with his preschool class, and spent most of the time crying and saying "It's not a Fun Day - I'm not having fun!". Oh! the Motherguilt! *wry grin*

Now, I have a moment of respite before I must throw myself into the fray again. Apart from the mountains of red tape we have to wade through to have the community preschool re-licensed (has to be done every 3 years), I am about to gear up for the election for Council. Later this month, there are a couple of seminars I must attend which will enlighten my ignorance about the legalities and processes of running for council, and I have begun attending Council meetings to gain an understanding of the processes, politics and people involved.

I am excited, somewhat exhilarated, slightly terrified, and cautiously optimistic. I am also worried about the little man in all this process, and I will carry his needs very high in my consciousness. He is showing some signs of insecurity and neediness (see above!) - not unusual in a 4 year old, but I sense there is a level of fearfulness related to the changes in our family life this year, and fallout from the hurt we all sustained and are still sifting through.

I had a call from his father first thing this morning (I'm talking 6.30am...very first thing!), exasperated that the wee man had awoken crying to come home to me and was still weepy and sullen and single-minded about it. I know that kids do tend to play off their parents to get their way (and this is not isolated to children from broken marriages), and I also know that the wee man's dad is under a great deal of emotional strain this weekend (his father, loved and loathed in equal measure, hangs onto life by a thin thread in a Wagga hospital, and I think he has decided not to go see him) which is no doubt seeping out to colour his mood and demeanour. I KNOW how uncomfortable he is to be with when like that, so can't say I blame the wee man, nor wish to force him to stay there, though I encouraged them both to try and see what the morning will bring and to be kind to each other.

The original plan of the shared care, that the wee man be with his father 3 nights and 2 days over the weekend, has never really happened, and the visits have dwindled to about 24 hours Saturday to Sunday. This saddens and frustrates me, both for selfish reasons (planning my own time and needs) and for the subtext (not necessarily true) I can see the wee man reading into it in capital letters: "...my father doesn't want to spend time with me."

With all the demands I will have on my time, and the increasing need to put myself "out there", I have a delicate dance to perform here. I'm giving serious thought to taking the wee man to see a counsellor, too, to give us both some strategies for coping.

I've found myself beginning again to read an excellent book I bought last year and never finished: Sarah Napthali's "Buddhism for Mothers". I'm not Buddhist, though many of my personal philosophies are Buddhist in nature, but I highly recommend this book to mothers everywhere, of any belief or faith - it provides real understanding, supportive strategies and calming insights, and I find myself immediately implementing some of its wisdom and feeling better for it, and seeing the little man respond well to those shifts, too.

Well, probably only a little time before the wee man returns (no doubt!). Time to pour myself a cup of green tea, and sit on the patio and gaze at the distant blue mountains...

What next? Fire? Famine?

First, there was this:




A tropical storm with golf-ball sized hailstones swept through Lismore in early October 2007. We were just about to leave the local shopping centre after doing groceries when it roared in like a train. That is the road the boys are looking at, 5 minutes after the storm hit.





Have a look at those rear windscreens...they're gone!
Driving through town afterwards was startling - everywhere, cars sported smashed front and rear windscreens and massive hail "dimpling", the streets were littered with leaves shredded from the trees by the force of the hailstones, houses had whole walls full of smashed windows and local landmarks like the old Post Office clock were badly damaged. Lismore was declared a natural disaster area, and millions of dollars of insurance claims were made.

Then, at the end of October, came this (as regular readers will remember, see here and here for story and more pictures):



(Image by Tim Hollis. I don't have an external shot, 'cos we were under it!)



Once again, our village as well as the Lismore region was declared a natural disaster zone (another hailstorm ripped through the whole area after our tornado), and we marvelled at Nature's power and destructive force.


And this morning, I wake to the first glimpse of sunshine since Christmas Day as this area has been subjected to days of torrential rain and gale-force winds (leaks in the house still not fixed since that tornado were sorely tested, and I have buckets and bowls in all sorts of unlikely places, and the four-poster bed in the middle of the room away from the worst of it), to see this:


(Image from ABC TV)

The Big Feller and the wee man are out looking at the extent of the flooding right now, but I grew up round here so have a pretty good idea what it's like out there. I hope the Big Feller might manage to take a half-decent photo so I can share it with you...his photograpic skills (cough, cough) are a little lacking.

Once again, Lismore is going to be declared a natural disaster zone. Even though the rain has eased at the moment, there is still so much water coming down from the mountains that source the local rivers...right where we used to live, actually.

So you can see why I am wondering what else the universe has in store for us at the moment? I don't want anything else to happen, and superstitiously wondered about the wisdom of choosing that post title.

Maybe the storm will be an internal one. Things are NOT good with me and the Big Feller. There are changes coming which may rip through our emotional landscapes with a force of a tornado.

Ramping up the cute factor

It is that time of year. Yes, first Christmas concert at preschool, and I really ramped up the cute factor when I took the wee man along wearing his Santa hat.



Laughing our heads off at ourselves, paparazzi snappers and handy cams abounded as our little ones romped their way through a small program of Christmas carols. It included an Aussie version of Jingle Bells which I just love - "Dashing through the bush, in a rusty Holden ute, kelpie by my side, esky in the boot..." (translation for my OS friends: ute=utility vehicle, kelpie=Australian cattle dog, esky=cooler box...hehehe). I'm not usually so patriotic, but I think it makes a lot more sense to our kids.



It's been a tumultuous year for us at preschool. Not for the wee man, who soaked up the stimulation and social scene, and grew like a flower towards the sun. It was his mama, and her fellow committee members, who have dealt with all manner of challenges and feel stretched and expanded and greatly strengthened by the experience. The day before this concert, we were here having a mediation meeting with a staff member who has had a long history of bullying people (other staff members, parents, children, even former Directors) and getting away with it. Of course, we couldn't put it like that, but I think we did show her how committed we are to creating a place where that kind of behaviour is anathema. I'm wondering if she'll choose to return to continue the journey with us next year. She was singing along with the rest of us yesterday.



Next year, the wee men will be going 3 days a week. I'm not sure what the New Year is going to bring, but one thing I've learned from this year - I'm going to be trying to do the things that give extra meaning to my life. There has been some recent press about the need for more women councillors in local government, rather pointedly aimed at women "...skilled at juggling family, work and volunteering". Guess they mean me (*snort* don't know that there is much skill involved...just sheer bloody-mindedness - "I.will.not.drop.one.ball!") Anyway, I've asked for some information, and there's a meeting early in the year - the logistics of travel and time could be tricky, but I love the idea of a deeper commitment to my community.

Embracing the community ethos

Well, I'm starting to feel at home now. The world of blogging has offered me a warm smile and a cheery "Hello", and invited me in for a cuppa. What is she blathering on about? you wonder (I often do!)...I've participated in a couple of blogging carnivals over the last few days and been tagged for a meme!

So, if you've dropped in from the All Women Blogging Carnival hosted by Red Sultana, or stumbled in from the Carnival of Australia, beautifully set out by Martin at SmallOfficeAustralia, welcome! And if you're a regular visitor here, you'll find some great posts at both Carnivals - pop over and have a look, and support Aussie and/or women bloggers!?! ;P

Goodness knows the meme (7 random or weird facts about me) is going to test my resources, both in coming up with enough quirky/interesting/random answers, and enough bloggers (7) I have to the temerity to tag in return, but it still gives me the warm fuzzies...thank you, Tiff (of Three Ring Circus), for the tag and extending the hand of friendship. :)

So, here's the meme rules:

Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

And here's 7 random or weird facts about me:

1. I picked up the phrase "the wee man" from my Tasmanian aunt, and I hear in it the resonances of our Scottish and English heritage.

2. At the age of 15, my best friend and I chucked aside the 2 litre bottle of Coke we'd bought as mixer, and took turns chugging down the 750ml bottle of Bundaberg Rum refused by our 3 other friends. Five minutes later, we were raging away in the local Town Hall at an All School's function - 1/2 hour later, and my best friend was driving the porcelain bus while I was dancing on the tables!? And they worry about youth binge drinking today? This sort of thing is the reason why my kidneys, liver and I have decided that we're pretty uninterested in alcohol these days... (Ps. My best friend still drinks rum.)

3. I was "re-named" by the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (later known as Osho) at a ceremony in Poona, India when I was 8 years old. He named me Ma Prem Bindu, which apparently means "drop of love". Funnily enough, the name stuck when I came to live with my Dad, was sort of a pet name used only at home, and many of his friends still remember me as Bindu all these years later.

4. I have lived in every capital city in Australia except the nation's capital, Canberra, which I have still never set foot in. (Nothing personal, folks, just hasn't been high on my "things to do" list.)

5. I don't drive. To be exact, I have had a learner's permit on and off over the last 15 years or so since returning from OS, but have never been for a driving test. I'm not incredibly confident, but I don't really know why I haven't got around to it...I'm putting it down to a bad past-life-experience (lol!). I've owned 4 cars in that time - own one right now, actually. I used to drive my lovely old Peugeot around Brisbane by myself (shhhh...), but haven't driven in a few years now and my last permit has expired. Bugger - now in NSW I have to do an incredibly long logbook process before applying for my test, so it just may never happen. (Don't tell the Big Feller I said that... ;-) )

6. I usually read 3, 4, 5 or more books at the same time (and let's not mention the magazines, okay?). They sit by the bed, by my favourite chair, on my desk, waiting for me to pick one up depending on mood and the amount of time available. These days, it's a mixture of fiction and non-fiction - a bit of chick lit, science fiction or fantasy, travel and memoirs, books on parenting or digital scrapping or food or...

7. I would love to go on Australian Idol...but I can't sing to save my life (unless you count passion and enthusiasm)!

Now, for the seriously hard part...tagging the bloggers! Thank heavens for NabloPoMo, which has allowed me to "meet" some more great bloggers.

So, I have to start with Red Dirt Mummy - spill the dirt, rdm! :)

Cecily, at happy chatter

Trish, over at Light. Sweet. Crude.

Ginny from Really Ginny

Lotus from Sarcastic Mom

Motherscribe

and finally, fiddlemama. Good luck, all...or forgive me! :)

PS. The wee man giving his Daddy a farewell hug yesterday...doesn't it make you just melt?

Crazy day

It's a crazy-mad day for me today. I don't want to think to hard about it, just hope that all goes to plan. Hence this first-thing-in-the-morning post; the wee man is eating breakfast and watching The Upside Down Show (the Umbilical Brothers are made for children's television, don't you think?!), and I have this small window of opportunity.

A little later the wee man and I are off to our playgroup, which I co-coordinate, then back at lunch-time.

The rest of the day is about the fund-raising film night our community preschool is hosting at the village hall. The movie is a fabulous documentary called "The Power Of Community", about Cuba, and how the Cuban people coped, adapted and triumphed over the challenge of reaching "peak oil" when their Soviet oil supplies were cut off after the collapse of the USSR. This was achieved through "cooperation, conservation and community" (80% of Cuba's agriculture is now organic), and is a really inspiring tale told by the people themselves.

I'd originally proposed this as the last fund-raiser of the year for the preschool - an economic necessity for community preschools, fees and government funding do not cover all expenses or provide sufficient resources.

However, after last Friday's tornado I kept thinking how lucky we had been at the preschool to be left untouched, when the school had lost two of its three buildings and numerous materials and resources. The committee met and we agreed unanimously to make the primary school the target of the fundraiser, so we've been running around like mad things ever since, changing posters and flyers and getting it into the local media to let people know, and hopefully tap into that amazing community spirit that buoyed us up over the weekend as the village cleaned up after the storm.

So, after I get back from playgroup, I've got to: finish putting a slideshow of photos from the tornado and aftermath together (along with any images or footage anyone emails or drops off this morning), burn it to disc, test it; bake some cakes or slices to sell after the movie; go down to the hall and help air and clean it, and set up and test the borrowed projection equipment; come back and clean up my house fit for the babysitter who is arriving to mind the wee man for the first time ever (fingers crossed...the beginning of life after 7.30pm for mama and daddy again!?!); cook something for them to eat, then go back to the hall 2 hours before the screening to get the final set-up organised; screen the movie at 7pm, hopefully with no hitches, then sell & serve coffee, tea & cakes afterwards before finally trudging home. I'm voting for cleaning the hall in the morning!

I know there is something I should be doing right now, and it's not this....!

Just call me Queen of Volunteers...

...Not that I think I'm doing more or better than anyone (there are some truly amazing people out there who commit their heart and souls to doing for others, and I'm not in their league), I just seem to be in a place at the moment where if there is a need, I step up to fill it. So I was door-knocking for the region's rescue helicopter a couple of weekends ago, and I'm now secretary for Zone Committee for PlaygroupNSW, on top of all the regular activities. It feels good to be useful and stretched and challenged, without the commerce aspect of being paid for what I do.

I like the sense of weaving my way into the weft and warp of this community, knowing and being known, supporting and being supported. I think I must have felt very useless when I was out in the mountains without even being aware of it, because my soul is drinking up the sense of purpose and needed-ness (I know, dreadful word creation...*rolls eyes*) that I receive every day in the work that I do now.

Economics of our situation is tough right now, and doing some paid work might be a good thing - the Big Feller has certainly suggested as much in harsher moments. Funnily enough, when I went for a job interview last week and really thought about what it would entail, I began to realise I couldn't justify the cost - in additional child-care and preschool fees, transport costs and associated expenses. More importantly, in time lost with my child and my family and my community, doing the things that mean most to me. This is a special, and finite, time in my life - a time to contemplate the shape my future might take as the wee man grows and needs me less.

So call me the Queen of Volunteers, and tell me how I can help...

Coming out of the fog

After a long time in the home-and-child focused haze that has enveloped me, I'm coming back out into the world. The wee man has just turned 3, started preschool and family daycare, and I am clawing some space for me in my life.
In fact, things have become a bit hectic after the dreamy drift of days of the last few years! I've leapt into the whole community volunteer bit, taking on the role of co-coordinator for our local playgroup, plus secretary of the preschool management committee...plus I've committed to writing something weekly as a "community correspondent" for our local rag. I'm busy, sometimes a bit stretched - and I'm loving it.
I'm still unsure what direction I'm moving in as the wee man moves off into the world of school etc...but there is a sense that things are going in the right direction. For the first time in a long time, I am genuinely happy on a day-to-day basis. Life is never perfect, but I like the shape it's in.