Barmy for Obama

(Can I just lead this off by saying I think he's a bit hot, actually? I mean, it's not just the new-Leader-of-the Free-World thing...usually that kind of power doesn't do it for me. No, it's his mouth, and his eyes...very warm, sensuous, intelligent, that quirk of humour...lucky Michelle, I say!)

Well, whatever he's got, America and most of the rest of the world want to see more of it! Hurray!

There is going to be a whole lot of serious and measured political commentary (and a whole lot of drivel, too)in blogs worldwide on the rights and wrongs of America's choice tonight, and I have nothing to add to that.

I can only talk about what I see, which is a man of courage and quiet dignity, who has given me a sense that he is capable of initiating that change he has been talking about. I would have voted for him, if I were American, and I think I would have been pretty vocal in my belief that he was the right man for the job in the lead-up to this election.

The change that he represents, as the new leader of one of the world's major powers, is startling, and refreshing, and an occasion for great hope.

Can we hope, as the world faces a huge economic crisis, climate change spirals out of control, families struggle to meet basic needs and retain a roof over their heads, and war zones simmer with discontent?

YES, we can!



(This fantastic mosaic image is called Hope Over Fear, by tsevis, and is available under Creative Commons license from Flickr. Check out some of his other works, too.)

Contrary to popular opinion...

...I have not been abducted by aliens.

For some reason, which I have been unable to specifically formulate but instead have been idly examining in the privacy of my own head, I have drifted away from the habit of blogging and immersion in the blogging world.

There's some superficial explanations, like how immensely frustrating I found it being back on dialup this year, and how much that limited my enjoyment of the Net in general, and blogging (both writing and reading) particularly. And how caught I became in real-time activities like the campaign and preschool etc.

Ultimately, I think that blogging and the blogging world gave me a much-needed sanctuary, an escape, when so much of my life was going shit-side-up. Now, as things in my life are taking shape in ways which are generally pleasing and satisfying and sometimes just plain time-consuming, I have lost the habit of blogging as the need that it filled (to be heard, to be understood) has fallen away. I'm happy (mostly). It's on a level almost below sensing, like a sub-sonic hum - it has replaced the hum of misery which was there before. People tell me I look happy, whatever that means.

I might have forgotten blogging for a while, but I haven't forgotten the amazing people I have met while blogging, and I have been thinking of you and occasionally dropping in quietly on a few of you when I can. (Trish, Tiff, you two are particularly in my thoughts...you have had a VERY tough year, and I am still here cheering you on, awed by your courage and humour as ever. Cec and JCK - catching up real soon!)

For those of you who have been crazy kind enough to hang in there waiting for me to bob up again, here's a quick summary of the last couple of months:

The Election

- I ran for Council after all, but only on the bottom of the ticket to support the group and our leader who, I am thrilled to say, got on to Council. And what a Council!

We have a lady Mayor, Jenny Dowell, who I had the immense pleasure of getting to know a little through the campaign - she is a person of courage and grace and integrity, which has been incredibly tested as she was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 days after winning the election! She is having a mastectomy on Tuesday, and fully intends to be at the first official meeting of council the week after. The community at large is sending her a massive amount of goodwill, love and support, shocked that she faces this crisis so soon after her triumphant win, but I'm sure that she is winning even more supporters by her honesty and dignity in sharing this terrible time with us, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month has got itself its new best advocate.

We have a Green female Deputy Mayor, Vanessa Ekins, and we have a great mix of progressive and fairly young councillors making up the majority of the council, with only 3 of the original dominating conservative "Six-pack" voting bloc remaining. Clearly, the community has spoken out for change, and I am really happy to have been part of the process. I wanted to make a change in our council, and see a better representation of women, and I helped achieve that without having to be a part of it myself...

...This time. I have had some feedback from some of the wonderful people I worked with in this campaign, to the effect that I have "...a shining future in local government" if I want it. The group who worked behind the scenes to support our party (including some of those who supported the claim of the other local candidate) are keen to work with me, and him, and others, to continue to support our man on council, and make long-term plans for the next elections, four years hence. Looks like my career in politics isn't over yet.



We Moved

- The wee man and I have moved on from one-room living, and now have more than enough room to swing a cat (and she loves it!) In fact, we have a lovely little 3 bedroom house with a jungle of a garden, and our darling dog Rusty was returned by the wee man's dad when we moved, so we are a very happy little family.

We have our own rooms ( I can't tell you how grateful I am not to take 2 steps and then trip on Thomas the Tank Engine or Alfie or Harvey or whoever the hell little metal engine was sticking into my instep...?!), the wee man is sleeping through the night (most nights) in his OWN room in his OWN bed, and I am experiencing that amazing phenomenon where you shut your eyes and then you open them again and it's morning...wtf? It's only been nearly 5 years. (Humble apologies to anyone not currently experiencing this phenomenon - I'm not boasting...oh, okay...maybe a little bit.)

It's been wonderful to get all my things out of storage after nearly nine months, and while a few boxes have been shoved into cupboards unopened, generally the place is looking and feeling like Home. (I can't wait till next weekend when various members of my family will be arriving to help celebrate my birthday, and will get to see it.)
















I Had a Haircut

- More importantly, a haircut I LOVE! In fact, it's six weeks this week since it was cut and I am itching to go back for a trim, but my newly-discovered treasure of a hairdresser has had the gall to be off sick this week...lol!




And So Has The Wee Man

- Photos to follow...I haven't even seen it yet!?! He's away this long weekend with his Dad, and they rang me on the Friday to tell me he had been to the barber and he now had "little hair"! (Don't worry - this was a previously discussed decision. In fact, I had promised the wee man he could cut it as soon as the weather warmed up, but I drew the line at the Number One with the clippers that his father was itching to do!)


So...as I said, Life is generally good. Not perfect, nor necessarily easy, but good. Satisfying. Promising. And sometimes, laugh-out-loud great...

A (Very) Short Career in Politics: Pt 2

Hmmm...serious bit of bad soap opera, leaving you hanging like that - I didn't plan it that way! That's no way to treat my 17 remaining patient and dedicated subscribers; "Love youse all!" as a particularly articulate (not) Aussie boxer is wont to say. (With particular linky love to my dear Cecily, who was egging me on to finish almost before I'd stopped typing...LOL)

So, the phone call.

The party leader is a very nice bloke. We have enjoyed getting to know each other, and kicking around ideas the last few weeks. He sounded distinctly uncomfortable as he told me that certain members of the party, all from one community group, felt that they would be "better represented" on council by another candidate (from their group) who had only just decided he was willing to have a shot at it.

As background to that, this group has been working particularly hard together over nearly two years to represent their village (mine, as it happens) in the fight against a particularly odious development proposed for it (Hardie Holdings - will mean something to the Aussies amongst you). They felt that this candidate had more experience, in this issue, in reading the associated reports and EIR's and DPs and LEPs (Environmental Impact Reports/Development Proposals/Local Environmental Plans) etc...and he did.

(But that is not all Council is about. And I'm a pretty fast learner, for a blonde. But I digress...)

Plus, this group discussed it amongst themselves, without raising it at the party meetings. It only came out in a private conversation with the party leader, the day after our last meeting, which lead to his phone call. So much for increased transparency and honesty, the bedrock of our campaign for council!

My initial feelings were of anger and defiance. I told him I was not prepared to just quietly back down and wanted to think about it. He was really supportive, very disappointed too at the way this issue had been raised, but able to see both points of view - we both have particular strengths as candidates, and either would make a good running partner from his point of view. Also, and importantly, the community groups form the support team for this little local party - any bad feelings or dissent risks undermining the whole team. We agreed that, unless either one of us was prepared to back down, we should put the #2 slot to a secret ballot of the party at the next meeting as the fairest way to decide. Since we were all about to go away on holiday, that was nearly 2 weeks away.

The next 24 hours was quite interesting. What had been a little head cold suddenly decided to become laryngitis - with so much to think about and talk about, suddenly I couldn't talk at all! It was great. Everything had come to a screaming halt - and as soon as I realised this, I started to look at why, and to wonder what the message was for me.

That's when I realised how much I was putting on the line if I actually got on Council - my life, and most especially, the wee man's life.

We've been through a lot in the last couple of years, and particularly the last 6 months. I have been very conscious of a certain amount of anger he has felt towards me, as the one he perceives as the instigator of the breakup of his family unit. I understand that, and want to be able to work with him to help him heal those feelings. And I realised that my Council dream would take me further away from him, and give him more reason to be angry at me...and that was the last thing I wanted.

So, a couple of days later, when I had something of a voice I called the party leader back and told him to drop me...waaay down the ticket, where I had no chance of making it onto council. I am still going to run, to support the party and make a group voting ticket possible, and because I believe in what they are trying to achieve, and because it will be a valuable learning experience. There's no sour grapes - I'm still a bit peeved and disappointed at the way the local group handled the matter, but I'm a big girl, and I know politics is always a dirty game...even this close to home.

All the more reason for me to run in 4 years time, when the wee man is much older, and I'm a little wiser, and backed by people I can trust and who can trust me...

A (Very) Short Career in Politics

*Insert copious and effusive apologies for long absence of regular blogging - include butt-kicking etc. Repeat as required.*

Yes, I know...it's been a while. And it wouldn't surprise me if I'm sitting here talking to myself by now - anyone who has had the patience to hang in there waiting to see if I was ever going to show up again needs to facilitate a workshop in patience skills so I can enrol...!

It has been a busy time for me, with the usual committee-related activities spiced with the beginning of the lead-up to the Council elections in September, culminating in the school holidays over the last 2 weeks.

Last week, though, things briefly came to a grinding halt as the combination of a phone call and a (thankfully brief!) bout of laryngitis gave me a couple of quiet days to look carefully at my life and the choices I was making.

A bit over a month ago, mutual acquaintances had put me in touch with a present councillor who was not running again, but was interested in supporting local candidates who were interested in supporting the issues and community groups he had been putting so much energy into. I went along to a meeting and by the end was thrilled that we all seemed to coming from the same place, were fielding a party supported by many local community groups, with values of transparency and community consultation, and the group had offered me number 2 on the ticket. (In the scheme of things, this gave me a reasonably good chance of getting on council - the #1 on a well-supported group ticket usually gets in, and the #2 has perhaps more than a 50% chance of also getting in, depending on preferences.)

We continued to have fortnightly meetings, and shared emails with ideas and layouts for brochures, flyers and manifestos. Together with the leader of the party and the current councillor, I went to several public community meetings throughout the area to hear the issues that galvanised them, and to show support for the difficulties they were facing with the present council. I was flat out, enthused and inspired. The wee man went away for 2 WHOLE WEEKS with his father to visit his father's family, and despite missing him like a constant dull ache, I was really too busy to mope.

Then the phone call, and my full stop...

The call was from the leader of the party.

And now I have to run - stay tuned, I'll be back soon to update you on what happened next.... xxx

Taking a breath before plunging back in...

It's been a very busy fortnight.

My Mum's 60th birthday last weekend - the wee man and I went up with my grandparents and brothers for a couple of days. We enjoyed some time together, helped Mum prepare for her party at home on the Saturday night, and generously had an absolute ball on the night...lol! Talking, laughing, singing and poetry and dance; Mum had a dream of an old-fashioned soiree, with the entertainments provided by the guests, and many of us obliged. (The wee man and I performed that preschool classic "Hello, Neighbour", with the aid of his first amour *cheeky grin*) Mum prepared a photo slideshow of her life and loves (her own "This Is MY Life"), which brought much laughter and some tears (mine, when my father appeared on the screen - unexpected and brief, but surprisingly raw). The wee man refused to go to bed until his little friend was gone, by which time we were all heading for bed, and he went to sleep with her name the last word on his lips.

Last Wednesday, Playgroups around the country celebrated World's Biggest Playgroup Day, the centrepiece of National Playgroup Week. Our local committee had decided in a moment of insanity to hold a public Family Fun Day, bringing together families with children under 5 and the local services and community groups who support them, and the last 6 months has been spent pulling these ideas and plans into reality. What a wonderful day it was, too! I ran around the park like a blue-arsed fly (to use a colourful Aussie colloquialism!), helping to co-ordinate the set-up and then MC'ing the day with the help of a wireless microphone. The weather was magnificent, and perhaps 500 people came (yet we hadn't done half the advertising we had planned to) and gave us excellent feedback, so we've deemed the day a great success. Probably the only child who didn't have a ball was the wee man, who was upset that I couldn't stay with him when he came with his preschool class, and spent most of the time crying and saying "It's not a Fun Day - I'm not having fun!". Oh! the Motherguilt! *wry grin*

Now, I have a moment of respite before I must throw myself into the fray again. Apart from the mountains of red tape we have to wade through to have the community preschool re-licensed (has to be done every 3 years), I am about to gear up for the election for Council. Later this month, there are a couple of seminars I must attend which will enlighten my ignorance about the legalities and processes of running for council, and I have begun attending Council meetings to gain an understanding of the processes, politics and people involved.

I am excited, somewhat exhilarated, slightly terrified, and cautiously optimistic. I am also worried about the little man in all this process, and I will carry his needs very high in my consciousness. He is showing some signs of insecurity and neediness (see above!) - not unusual in a 4 year old, but I sense there is a level of fearfulness related to the changes in our family life this year, and fallout from the hurt we all sustained and are still sifting through.

I had a call from his father first thing this morning (I'm talking 6.30am...very first thing!), exasperated that the wee man had awoken crying to come home to me and was still weepy and sullen and single-minded about it. I know that kids do tend to play off their parents to get their way (and this is not isolated to children from broken marriages), and I also know that the wee man's dad is under a great deal of emotional strain this weekend (his father, loved and loathed in equal measure, hangs onto life by a thin thread in a Wagga hospital, and I think he has decided not to go see him) which is no doubt seeping out to colour his mood and demeanour. I KNOW how uncomfortable he is to be with when like that, so can't say I blame the wee man, nor wish to force him to stay there, though I encouraged them both to try and see what the morning will bring and to be kind to each other.

The original plan of the shared care, that the wee man be with his father 3 nights and 2 days over the weekend, has never really happened, and the visits have dwindled to about 24 hours Saturday to Sunday. This saddens and frustrates me, both for selfish reasons (planning my own time and needs) and for the subtext (not necessarily true) I can see the wee man reading into it in capital letters: "...my father doesn't want to spend time with me."

With all the demands I will have on my time, and the increasing need to put myself "out there", I have a delicate dance to perform here. I'm giving serious thought to taking the wee man to see a counsellor, too, to give us both some strategies for coping.

I've found myself beginning again to read an excellent book I bought last year and never finished: Sarah Napthali's "Buddhism for Mothers". I'm not Buddhist, though many of my personal philosophies are Buddhist in nature, but I highly recommend this book to mothers everywhere, of any belief or faith - it provides real understanding, supportive strategies and calming insights, and I find myself immediately implementing some of its wisdom and feeling better for it, and seeing the little man respond well to those shifts, too.

Well, probably only a little time before the wee man returns (no doubt!). Time to pour myself a cup of green tea, and sit on the patio and gaze at the distant blue mountains...

Entering the arena

Feeling a little like a lamb about to lie down with lions, I am preparing to follow through on my inclination to run for local council this September.

Those who know me have been universally supportive and encouraging, though I'm sure more than a few are wondering if I know what I'm letting myself in for. The short answer is; I don't, not really, but I'm keen to find out. Over the last week or so, I've spoken to several councillors and former councillors, seeking insight and advice.

The key piece of advice so far has been to attend current council meetings, to familiarise myself with the process, decide if it is for me, and assess and meet other councillors...with a view to future alliances, amongst other things. The thought of the electioneering and politics to come is more than a little daunting, yet at the same time, the idea of helping to break the ground and encourage more women to participate in the process is really motivating. The 3 women currently on our local council are widely respected, as caring and functional members of council, and are actively promoting the need for more women in all levels of government. Talking with two of them has been illuminating and inspiring, and I hope that I can continue to learn from them throughout the process. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think I had a chance but I am just beginning to understand the depths of my ignorance and, if nothing else, will learn an incredible amount through the next 6 months.

There are going to be many conflicting demands on my time. My little man is always my number one priority, but I hope the compromises I will be making over the next few months will be worth the lessons I can teach him, about going after something meaningful regardless of the result, and living the truth of your values.

Kevin '07

I can't let the occasion of our first Monday without Howard at the helm pass without comment. I am thrilled that we finally have the change of government we have needed for so long and I dearly hope, like so many others, that Kevin Rudd doesn't stuff up this opportunity.

I'm kicking myself, actually, that I didn't place a bet at a bookmakers 9 years ago. Kevin was my local member in Brisbane back then; he struck me as an unusually principled and pro-active politician, and I predicted that he would be our prime minister within 10 years. He did it with a year to spare.

What odds would I have got on that?

Anyone who thinks that he is just a carbon copy of Howard is not looking beyond the glasses and the dorky demeanour. I think he is going to have on-going conflict between what he would like to do, based on his own beliefs and values, and what the party machine and the behind-the-scenes powers-that-be will permit him to do (no conspiracy theory...pure pragmatism) but as world leaders go, he is not a bad man to have at our head. I hope he can work some serious changes in the "me-first" economic and social culture that has erupted under the Howard regime, and take us somewhere better suited to the Australian values of mate-ship and a fair go for all.

And (no offense to my American friends) I really hope he can extract us from the depths of George W. Bush's arse (where little Johnnie Howard sunk us), and put us in a more balanced and neutral position on the world stage...!

More than halfway...

...through NaBloPoMo, and I hadn't even noticed!? I'm beginning to have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it - I have appreciated the discipline of turning up at the page and writing something every day, at the same time I have chafed at the pressure, and of my own demands on myself that it be something "worthwhile".

I never did like deadlines. My mum had high hopes that I would take my creative talents further, go to art school or university, but all I could see in that future was my creative muse withering with the pressure to perform under deadline. I know... classic and typical procrastinator issues, copping out before ever really testing myself. However, I always planned to be a mature-age student - I knew that when I was ready to follow my dreams, I would - and I have been. In fact, I could happily be a student for the rest of my life, if I could afford to pursue all the courses of study that I wished to do! Lotto dreams...at least unless there is a major change in education policy in this country.

Hmm, we'll be looking at election results by this time next week...guess we'll see how much energy for change there is in this country. Be prepared to see me weeping tears of blood and rooting around for my passport application if John Howard and his cronies are returned!